The idea of never visiting a place twice you loved, tells why I studied in 3 different countries even though Hungary is my second home! Why so? The basic premise I hold is that time has passed, you lived moments, and you met people. It is never about the place itself (anymore)!
I asked #ChatGPT, why we live in a new country? There are many reasons why someone might choose to live in a new country. Some people move to a new country for work or educational opportunities. Others may be attracted to the culture or lifestyle of a particular country, or they may want to be closer to family or friends who live there. Some people also move to a new country to retire or to escape conflict or persecution in their home country. Ultimately, the decision to live in a new country is a personal one, and it will depend on an individual's specific circumstances and goals.
Mine was a combination of many of these aspects, to experience things differently, from language, and food to weather!
The first country I ever traveled to for a long term is Hungary and I lived in Budapest for 3 years.
I did not love it though at the first sight. First, was an enormous shock I had by the harsh winter. The coldest weather I had in my life at that time was 16 degrees celsius in Assomada, Praia- Cape Verde. Second, was the shock at how people interacted with each other. When I was passing by people, there is no looking, or greeting, I was just passing by silently. After a few times trying I gave up, because no one was reciprocating. I just felt weird and invisible.
So, from Cape Verde to Hungary? Why I traveled to a place so unfamiliar to me?
Many people that I meet daily or occasionally after a few words, they ask me this question.
For an easier and funnier I always say: My mother always told me that I was "atrevida" I was brave running in the steep and hilly areas. The memory I have of myself is that I always believe that I could do anything. I think, this confidence and tenacity made me travel the world alone without saving and risking it all!
My personal story with Hungary is a bittersweet one though. At the age of 28 years old I left Cape Verde. At that time I was working in a semi-private water company. At that age holding zero direct responsibilities, let's say I lived well. However, was still living with my parents. So the first reason that made me want to travel far, very far is to have my independence, come home later at night without any parental control, or pay my own bills. Second, I did not want any familiar country like Portugal or USA as I had families living there. On top of this, I wanted to be inserted in a community I could fully practice my English language skill.
The third reason, perhaps the most important one, I could not pretend that my potential was being used fully. I could not pretend anymore that our department was doing the job that it was supposed to do. I literally felt I was earning money doing nothing. So I needed to leave for better opportunities for growth.
I was awarded a Hungarian Scholarship called Stipendium Hungaricum
https://apply.stipendiumhungaricum.hu/. I did not care too much about the monthly stipend. I could only look forward to the future and Europe! Finally, I will leave by myself and practice English daily. From day one of the application process, I felt I was being under test already. The testing I am referring to is patience and dealing with everything in English. This is because my English skill was just enough at that time B2. Thankfully this was the minimum requirement the 3 universities required. Among these 3 options, I won a place at
Eötvös Loránd University known as ELTE
In one way, it was exciting because I was living with 2 girls from different countries. One from Egypt and another from Russia. I ambitioned that I will learn both languages (laughing). On the other hand, It was extremely overwhelming, literally for everything: From food prices and its currency, the transportation city and all the line within Budapest, to even the way to get to a supermarket. It is very challenging the idea of new and unknown. I believe these opportunities test your faith, your strength, and especially your courage to just decide to go out! You might ask, didn't you have a cellphone with google maps? No, I did not have. The old phone I had for some reason was not connecting to that wifi in the first place. I did not try myself enough and did not handle all those challenges at the same time. I did not accept the country in the first place, even though I liked it very much the city during the night while walking, but I hated the moments I needed to sleep and wake up every morning. I did not want the day to start over again. My sister told me I was having depression or anxiety. I did not care too much.
One Day I packed and left Hungary
One morning I woke up and sat in my bed for more than 20 minutes in a dilemma between whether should I go to the university and take my exam, one of the last ones or should I buy a plane ticket? The inner voice was so loud that I would fail that exam, even though I passed months studying for it, I self sabotage my chances with that subject. This inner voice is REAL, it can get you if you are not in constant exercise and highly aware of it. Instead, I bought a flight ticket to Portugal. When I saw my cousin that took me to the airport I felt so relieved, I felt at home, again.
Deep down, the way I felt that was not right all the way. I was never fully content with the decision. Why you left? I kept asking myself: Are you the only international student there? why are you running away from difficult times?
I went back to Cape Verde after Christmas time, and could not tell anyone that I gave up. That word was not fitting into my vocabulary. I was saying I came back for a vacation. Hopefully, the scholarship program have the chance to pause for one semester. At the beginning of January, I left my job again. I was feeling even worst because the role that I left seemed likely it was not needed anymore at the company.
My second home
I came back to Hungary. I realized 3 main things: 1. Your mental health is important to be cared for from the moment you feel signs of any kind. I had family support to help me to travel back and take a break and made me realize what is important to me and have back my spirit.
sometimes you feel tired of a certain situation, so in a conscious way without fighting take a stance back and rest, aware that you will catch up!
My university, classmates, and accommodation warmly received me back.
2. I realized that literally, everything is relying on how you set your mindset. Positive, and negative ideas about you and the environment that surrounds you. I meant everything except you. How you pay attention to external factors, you value and appreciate. From that time, I was connecting more to Hungarian people, its food, and the language. I started to date more and be proactive to talk to people. There I met a special person in my life! I did not change my nature of greeting and being happy! I was doing it as I feel like it!
3. Positivity. After seeing another side of my country's reality, the options I had and the things I can not control, I started to give meaning to everything that happens to me. It can only serve to teach me and not to mistreat me. My positive mindset brought me to a second country - Holland.
Part II is living and studying in
Interesting to read about this personal trajectory? Want to have a glance at what I post on my professional network? Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-barbosa-a3b0b1b3/
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